Dog Wars

This post is not about the dysfunctional system in the suburbs but about DOGS and the menace they create.Though dubbed man's best friend i prefer to keep my distance from them.I had a terrible confrontation with a Alsatian once and lost four kilos from my thigh.Due to the gore involved in the incident i will refrain from going into the details.So this particular incident in my 8th grade changed me from being a dog lover to a paranoid human petrified of anything that has sharp teeth,nails(vinod)claws.I stay away from untamed dogs,cats and strays as much as possible.

Its been four years since i have moved into the suburbs and the biggest problem i had ,besides adjusting to the new environment ,was that of adjusting to the martial law of the dogs in my street.Seriously...after 10 'o clock the curfew begins and the dogs take over the street.It is impossible to move around without them snarling menacingly at you.It is a risk i normally do not take.

Having a lot of free time to kill i began to name them...

1) Black beast -big fucking dog...as big as a Pig...forgot to mention..the territory is also shared by pigs also. i think he is the alpha male

2) Scarface --This dog was subjected to gruesome tests by some mad scientist living nearby i reckon,because this dog's face is distorted in the most ugly way which would make Scarface(from 'the Texas chain saw massacre ) look elegant. ***Menaka Gandhi are you reading this???

3)Fucked---this dog convinced me that someone's sexual orientation in my neighborhood was on psychotic lines.

4)Big Bad Brownie and 5)Spots.


These were the ruling dogs in my street...what is their lifestyle....?? Fuck around the entire day...howl in the night ...fight with the dogs from the next lane..and bite the occasional postman or the courier guy...

I made my peace with the dogs in the first week i shifted to the suburbs by offering them biscuits and i stay away from them as much as possible.If i am late..i ask my dad to pick me up from the railway station nearby to avoid any confrontation.
Who said dogs were cute and cuddly.....??? They should have a look at the dogs ruling my streets.......i hear from the society that they are planning to remove the gurkha,because his job is easily taken over by these "best-friends of man"....wait wait....i can hear the gurkha wailing in the background...think he got his pink slip...or did he get mauled by Big bad Brownie?????

Australian tourist Q&A

The questions below about Australia are from potential visitors.

They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humor.

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Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

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Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)

A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

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Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks(Sweden)?

A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

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Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns,Townsville and Hervey Bay?

(UK)

A: What did your last slave die of?

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Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in

Australia?

(USA)

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.

Aus-tra-lia is that big island in themiddle of the Pacific which does not

... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

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Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get

here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

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Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

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Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule?

(USA)

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is ... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

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Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK)

A: You are a British politician, right?

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Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.

Milk is illegal.

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Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can

Dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.

All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and

make good pets.

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Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains ofanyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

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Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.

Can you tell me where I can sell it inAustralia? (USA)

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

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Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female

population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)

A: Yes, gay night clubs.

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Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)

A: Only at Christmas.

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Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the

Girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross*. Can you help?

(USA)

A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

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Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)

A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

I don't know if they were really posted in the website,But the stuff was just too good and so i had to post it.

P.S:: I got this as a mail.

My [S]Crap will go on.

The following 'song'/poem was featured in a scrap book requesting for 'Fraanship' and it was dubbed as the Orkut Song.. :O . A small indication of how desperate and innovative these people have become......

Every Time in My Orkut
I See You. I Scrap You.
That is how I know You go on.
Far Across the Scrap Book
And Testimonials Between us
You have come to Show Yourself "Single".
Near, Far, wherever You are
I believe that the Friends list does go on
Once More You logged on
And You're Here in My Scrap Book
And My Scrap Book will go on and on
Testimonials can Touch Us One Time
And Last for Sometime
And Never let go till we're Friends
Love was when I saw Your Friends list
There is Some Amazing Profile that will not
go away
One true time I Hold to
In My Life I'll Surely View Her/His Profile
You're Here, There's so Much to Fear,
And I Know That My Friend will Know I checked her/him out
We'll Stay Forever this way
You are Safe in My Friends List
And My Friends list will goes on and on



Why??? Why??? why this irresistible craving to have random slapdash friends of the opposite sex is beyond the realm of my imagination.

Whatever may be the reason...they are helping me to have a good laugh and provide some respite from boredom....sheesh.......

Blog Noted :D

I was ranting and cribbing about how my blog does not feature in the Blogs of note.But the last few days have been different.I have actually come to know that a lot of people are actually reading my blog and all those profile visits did not include my clicks... :D

A random comment from a unknown person,a friend's call just to say that he had read my blog,a few scraps from other online friends and a couple of anonymous comments...!! who cares if my blog does not feature in the Blogger Blogs of note...I remember Sindhu's comment..."Blog forth.Blog for yourself " :) how true...I realized i have my regulars and i needn't be worried about the hits...(Unless i have ADSENSE in the blog..which i think will feature in some time..sheesh the greedy human mind...)

Thank you all..My Blog has been NOTED :)


P.S About the anonymous comments.....Great..!!! i have had my imagination running wild,i am hoping that it is a sexy and shy girl who has had secret crush on me for a long time and has been following my activities since i was in high school....aaaaaha(with closed eyes and blissful smile)..how i wish that was true...

Trying for Poetic licence..

Poems...self proclaimed poets...!! aaargh....they are everywhere in blogspot.Any desi blog you click and voila..!! Poems and poets screaming about everything from love to politics,war and even inanimate objects.War...that seems to be the "in" theme to write about.Its not that i hate poetry,actually i enjoy poems.Its just that every time i see a blog dedicated to poems it kinda makes me feel bad that i have not tried it..yet... :D


So here goes ..

MY FIRST POEM


With the cursor blinking and my eyes twinkling ,

I stared into the screen actually blinking,

Disgusted that i dont have any inkling

towards writing poetry...


Jesus Christ..i will stop..i am pathetic at this...and my skill level at poetry is on par to that of a retarded chimpanzee.I accept defeat and concede that poets are truly great and it requires lots of skill to write poetry.

Incidentally, a poem by T.S Elliot is what made me start this blog..Probably i will give it a better attempt next time or mooch of a poem from the Web and pass it off as mine ... ;)

Buy Nothing Day---BND

Buy Nothing Day is an informal day of protest against consumerism observed by social activists. In 2007, Buy Nothing Day falls on November 23rd in North America and November 24th internationally. It was founded by Vancouver artist Ted Dave and subsequently promoted by the Canadian Adbusters magazine.

The first Buy Nothing Day was organized in Vancouver in September of 1992 "as a day for society to examine the issue of over-consumption." In 1997, it was moved to the Friday after American Thanksgiving, which is one of the top 10 busiest shopping days in the United States. Outside of North America, Buy Nothing Day is celebrated on the following Saturday. Despite controversies, Adbusters managed to advertise Buy Nothing Day on CNN, but many other major television networks declined to air their ads.Soon, campaigns started appearing in United States, the United Kingdom, Israel, Germany, New Zealand, Japan, the Netherlands, and Norway. Participation now includes more than 65 nations.

While critics of the day charge that Buy Nothing Day simply causes participants to buy the next day, Adbusters states that it "isn't just about changing your habits for one day" but "about starting a lasting lifestyle commitment to consuming less and producing less waste."

Where does India feature in this???(I have no idea,thats why i asked you). I came across this event in of the international blogs.Their main motive is a BUY NOTHING CHRISTMAS. Imagine a BUY NOTHING DIWALI..! India will be in tatters,riots and pickets will be the order of the day.

I have no personal view on the entire issue,its just another day in which i will definitely buy lots of cigarettes and refrain from buying expensive Gucci,Armani apparels,Ray-Ban glares,Rodenstock frames,Hugo Boss perfumes,Lacoste belts,Rolex watches,Calvin Klein underware and Porsche cars which i buy every day.

Talking about consumerism i remember this dialog from FIGHT CLUB(one of my fav movies) where Tyler(Pitt) convinces the Narrator on the evils of consumerism..

Where you are now you can't even imagine what the bottom will be like
Only after disaster can we be resurrected
It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything
Nothing is static, everything is evolving, everything is falling apart

You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake
You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else
We are all part of the same compost heap
We are the all singing, all dancing, crap of the world

You are not your bank account
You are not the clothes you wear
You are not the contents of your wallet
You are not your bowel cancer
You are not your grande latte
You are not the car you drive
You are not your fucking khaki's

You have to give up, you have to give up
You have to realize that someday you will die
Until you know that, you are useless

I say let me never be complete
I say may I never be content
I say deliver me from Swedish furniture
I say deliver me from clever arts
I say deliver me from clear skin and perfect teeth
I say you have to give up
I say evolve, and let the chips fall where they may

Food for thought????

Below is my desktop wallpaper.

Want to buy some Soap??


*Partial content from Wikipedia*

P.S It was obvious wasn't it? I'd have to sell my vital organs to learn to write like that with all the facts.



This is the BND link.Visit them and learn more about how not to spend the cash you earned on stuff that you covet but find no real use for them in your day -to- day life.

Mission -partly accomplished....

Yeah..!!! Success tastes GOOD.... :D. As you may notice i have successfully integrated a HTML chat code into the blog....HA...i did it all by myself ..!! (if you don count Ron from orkut who sent me the link).Well,what ever...i have done something 'innovative' by my standards...and it makes me feel good.....

*sheesh....what all lame stuff i have to do to reassure myself that my Engg Deg is not just a piece of paper*

Quest for the elusive template

i was browsing through the internet and i found a lot of good blogs which were very snazzy,glitzy and simply awesome.I looked at my template and thought i could add a few more stuff to the blog so that it is more attractive to the non existent reader (if you notice this blog has only about 90 views of which 85 are by me, checking for spelling mistakes etc after i post them.So.. i am not pretentious about the blog)There were some with really cool backgrounds and awesome fonts.I couldn't believe the amount of time and energy the bloggers spend.So i decided to add a bit more glitz to the blog by 'adopting' a new template and discarding my good old[?] MINIMA (which by the way sounds like the name of my previous servant maid :D)

Did i succeed??? OBVIOUSLY NO..!! Else you would have been looking at a flashy new template with Monica Belluci in the back ground flaunting her heavenly curves (Seriously..i tried to get this back ground but in vain). It turned out to be a tougher job than i thought it was.First i had to find a nice template(this is the easy part as google helps out :D ). Then comes the part where i have to change the back ground to a picture of my choice.It took a while for me to find out how to do that.In order to change the picture i needed an account in photo bucket,then upload the picture in 17" size,the copy the URL,paste it in the Script,copy the script and paste it in the template after choosing "revert to classic style".

Did i get the desired result??? NO..the picture i chose was of a very small size so the blog became spliched. Half of it in the picture and the rest in a blank background.I started to miss my MINIMA...By the time i realized i couldn't do it, four hours had gone by.

I was a bit hurt by the entire episode,being a IT graduate i couldn't change a simple HTML code to suit my needs.A small voice inside me creaked for the entire night and i couldn't sleep.It hurts when the bubble called ego is burst.But hey what the heck...i am happy with my MINIMA(i meant the template ;) ) and i dont want to cluster my blog with bullshit(incidentally isn't this blog about bullshit??? Ed overrules the argument).If i want to see Monica Belluci she is always there for me in my desktop...why again in the blog..?? Reassuring myself that this is trivial issue to lose faith in myself,i went to bed...then i remembered something i read when i was six years old.....the story of "The Fox and the sour grapes "......

FUCK YOU CONSCIENCE....i am still writing about it....and i will definitely learn how to custom make a template...!

Countdown begins..

I have been through the whole nine yards…been a moderately studious kid with lots of issues…slogged for my UG…worked my ass off for a job and now the long wait is technically over, just ten more days left for me to enter the corporate world and earn MONEY..!!! yeah that is what I have been dreaming for quite sometime now…face it…who doesn’t…I have been fantasizing of all the lavish stuff that I will be buying with first few bucks which will be entirely MINE…!! I can indulge, I can splurge money…(till now I have been able to only use those phrases in the negative form ) I can visualize myself owning an 180cc bike which cuts across traffic like a knife through butter, an awesome phone with all the features available in the market (I know this is not possible because phone companies always hold back some features just to make us buy again..Wretched bastards!) and a must-buy is a lava lamp. I don’t know why but I have always been fascinated by a lava lamp. It may sound stupid but I would definitely frame a life size poster of PINK FLOYD and hang it by my bedside.

While all these things excite me…there is this small disappointment that I have become an adult…well almost..(I still don’t know how to pay the bills, buy groceries etc..Now you know what my definition of an adult is). It is a difficult transition from a dependant kid who gets food when he comes home screaming “MOM I am hungry…!!” to a professional and having to ‘work’ for a livelihood.

It is a challenge that I am willing to take on…not that I have a choice..i am not one of those lucky bastards who get to continue to mooch off dad’s business till they are 40 and finally their kids start telling their tottler friends “my dad is a business man”…(aaah don’t mind me..i am just jealous :D ) It is inevitable, but I am still gonnna miss not paying for my bills henceforth..mooching off cousins who are working… :D Jey and niranjan..hope you are reading this… :D …aaaaaahhh that’s life…! being treated as a kid ,at times it is irritating when they don’t include you for serious talk...but it has its advantages of never opening your wallet… :D

In ten days I am going to be paying taxes, look at potential financial investments ( I never knew what it meant till some time ago..) and actually worry about debts, career choices, work pressure….phew…Scary….I hope I adapt well in to the wilderness called adulthood…

***DAD….!!! I need a new pair of shoes before I report to office..!!!***

Freaky Flesh..

i have been sitting jobless,doing nothing for the past one year now.While in college i was this puny fellow who resembled a big '1'.Well..that was my tag since i was 5 yrs old.I wanted to change that image,using this extended holiday and become "FAT".Yes...mad as it may seem..i wanted to be fat.Not exactly fat...i dint want to look like a shirt hanger when i wear formal shirts in office.So i began on this major lazy routine of eating,sleeping,beer,eating junk and no physical activity for about 8 months.

Fortunately or unfortunately it worked.My waist size has increased from 28 to 32(pushing 34).My body mass has increased from a mere 49kg to about 68kg now.There is a flip side to the entire " i wanna look hefty" idea of mine.I put on weight where i dint want to and i am still 'thin' in other areas.My body is like a developing country,with huge botches of poverty and some patches of wealth.

I started to have this freaky flesh thing under my chin.It is officially called as "chin fat" and is very very unhealthy.FUCK....it freaks the fuckin shit outta me...i cannot bend down and look at my toes without realizing that i have a extra 'bladder' hanging from my chin :( . I tried to do exercises. (errr....i assumed chewing gum is a exercise ) but..it dint work...the flab keeps increasing.Trust me i know..i have started having trouble looking at my toes .i can do it only with considerable effort now.

I think i will look this (left) in a years time..... :( FUCK...i miss being thin....

This is what i found in a medical related website..BASTARDS have a weird sense of humor and they made sure my bouts of insomnia continue.

"

Chin fat responds well to weight loss. Losing down to your doctor-recommended weight may just be the cure for that double or triple chin. If not, and if chin fat is disrupting to the individual, surgery may be a good solution.

The problem with chin fat is that in may instances of weight gain, the skin stretches and loses its elasticity and is unable to go back to its original state. The dieter is left with a wad of unsightly hanging skin which probably is more bothersome to them than to others - but bothersome it is. Nature has a way of doing things to remind us of our mistakes so that we think twice before repeating them. In some instances, we find it necessary to use available means to correct her unwanted presents. "

Have u seen "TAXI DRIVER" ??? De Niro vows to get his body with an awesome and inspiring dialog.
"I gotta get in shape now. Too much sitting has ruined my body.
Too much abuse has gone on for too long.
From now on it'll be pushups each morning.
Fifty pull-ups.
There will be no more pills, no more bad food...
no more destroyers of my body.
From now on it'll be total organization. Every muscle must be tight."

i have put this as my wall paper alongside De Niro's picture(Travis Bickel).i have taken a vow to exercise and lose the freaky flesh,from today the WAR starts between me and my body's destroyers.Freaky flesh may have won the battle..but i will win the war..!!! (did i get it right?? i always mix em up..)

Another one....sheesh....

hai #####!!

u really got a cute profile (also means small)..

just going through ma frnds profile.. saw urs.. i dont like 2 lie.. i know ppl hate lies.. i wanna be ur frnd.. i know iam sort of new/stranger.. u know its really rare to see gud ppl (Lyke u n me).. i hope u can get more info about me in ma blogs and ma communities.. plz feel free to access da same.. and ur comments give me moral boost.. as i have a blog without no comments.. i really disappointed with dat. thx for hearing to ma big scrap sort of thing.. take care... :)


What a piece of bullshit....

"u reaaly got a cute profile" :O???? what the fuck is he talking about??? "also means small" --Seriously again..!! what is he talkin about??? :O

"going thru my frnds profile...saw urs" HUH??? How can she be in his friends list?? Is this some kind of "new" game in ORKUT where you send to people in your friends list stuff like this????

i know ppl hate lies.. i wanna be ur frnd.. i know iam sort of new/stranger.. u know its really rare to see gud ppl (Lyke u n me)


WHOA...Is he trying to stress on the fact that he is not lying that he wants " a decent fraanship"? If so ...he is a bad liar...wait wait...rewind..why did he have to bring in about lying??? beats me......

LYKE??? what the fuck is that??? Learn ENGLISH idiot...go back to second standard.I have had enough of this "HEP" way of spelling out words that are easier in the original form....
And if you notice he thinks he is subtly conveying the intention that he is a "good" guy...!!!!
WAH..!!! ingenuity...!!! brilliance....hats off people...lets put our hands together for our winner this week..!!

On what basis he is a winner..??? Well..i find that towards the end he gets really good...he starts to beg...plead for "moral boost"...he wants people to comment on his blog...Well its not a blog as such but a major DOCUMENTATION on HIS interests...He is this week's winner for the best FRAANSHIP SEEKER....for his sheer courage...!!

Blogs of Note...

You see being a new blogger has its own advantages and disadvantages.The advantages are that even though i think that i am pathetic,my best friends support me and encourage me.I say 'thank you' in the most unsure way and i reaffirm myself saying that i am good.But,there is always this teeny weeny nagging sense that will not go away.

The disadvantages are that i just don't know what to write about..! Seriously..The mind goes blank and there is a constant voice in the back of the head shouting "I told you so..!!! You were NO GOOD " reminding me of a irritating teacher i had in school who was convinced i was a born criminal.

So in order to set my mind on what to write ,i browsed the internet and saw other blogs to see how they are constructed.As far as i noted every blog has a direction...And mine does not have any direction. i don't know where i am heading ,just like my life.While browsing,my browser got stuck in the Blogger Dashboard page and something caught my eye for the first time.If you see in the left corner there is a section which says BLOGS OF NOTE,presumably blogs that Blogger found interesting. I was like whoa...cool..

I went into my dream land.One of my distinct traits is that i think too much of myself. I started imagining MY blog featuring in that and getting lots of hits and regulars. (sheesh i kno it is lame...!! hey its a democratic country i have the right to think too much of myself.)Coming back to the Blogs of Note..i started to search how blogger puts it up...on what basis??? Sadly i couldn't find out.Also i searched if there is a shortcut to that list...tch tch..i couldn't find that too..or i assume it is not possible.

So i lay down my evil thoughts of taking the shortcut to Blogs of Note (i know it is impossible so i gave up ) and figure that the only way to make it there is by regularly posting.

Hey i finally came up with a new post...!!! Is this what blogging all about???Have i already crossed the novice land into the realm of professional blogging...!!!! Piece of cake...!! MUHAAAAA I AM KING...!!!! >:)

(i guess you know what i mean when i say i talk too much )

FRAANSHIPS...

The time now is around 1 am in the morning. I am bored to the core. Insomnia has gripped me for the past few months. I have to keep myself occupied….somehow I have to maintain my sanity ….books, movies, music and pointless roaming are my usual routines….besides pursuing these past times, I still have a lot of time to kill…..what do I do to fill in the huge voids of time….??? ORKUT…..what else…the one stop place for all those people who are bored and have nothing else worthwhile to do in life….ORKUT….

ORKUT ---The “happening” place...the best place for casual time pass…I agree that it helps to keep in touch with current friends and dig out long lost friends….But…I think orkut has helped me in providing me with good entertainment besides aiding me in keeping in touch with my friends. I will tell you how….

Mainly I use Orkut to see other peoples scrap books…(I am not ashamed…. :D) You see my intent is not to pry or invade their privacy (It is a public forum anyways…but still.. ) but to see all the “FRAANSHIP” requests….YES….this has been one of my favorite time pass in recent times…and I suggest you to try it too. The “FRAANSHIP” requests get innovative every time and funnier…These people give a damn to the explicit note which in the most blunt way says that the girl is not interested in “FRAANSHIPS”, yet the SEEKERS pursue their goal of “FRAANSHIP” in the virtual world relentlessly.

My Favorite “FRAANSHIP” Requests….

Please note the different spellings for friendship ..Errr.. “FRAANSHIP” in all the unique requests.

#“hi dude ...I am looking for some good friend ship with few beautiful girls around...If u think that u r one....do scrap me...”

Note the grammar…!!! This fellow is smart…he is putting the onus on the girl to send the friendship request if she thinks that she is beautiful…as if he is the desi version of Brad Pitt doing a favor for this poor girl by adding her…sheesh….what a loser…

#“hi howz u what do u do ,r u interested in frdship ,ya a stranger but even ur frds were strangers once ,just a decent frdship yaar ,hope u wil not mind”

Slick…good try….Sorry boss…..Your logic sucks big time…!!

#“hey...came across u in the common iyer community...msg pannalam nu thonichu...wassup..”

This type of “FRAANSHIP” requesters do an extensive research on the girl’s communities and find out about her interests and dislikes and “attack” on that.

#“hey wassup?? urs n my bday lies in same mnth...hehe;)...u ve got cute smile....neways m karan..n m frm jalandhar bt nowadays m in chenna as m in merchant navy....n m doin ma theoretical trainin hre...m sorry if i bothered u bt jus liked ur pro so repleid...i hope u wont mind”

GAWD…!!! DESPO NO 1…!!! Who the fuck cares about the birthday in the same month..!! as far as I know about a million people have their birthday on the same day…!!! This fellow thinks he is some unique snow flake and having special privilege to be her friend because they were born on the same month..!! And he ends with a slight note of “I am sorry I am usually a nice guy but now a full time despo out to seek out unsolicited fraanships“

#hey XXXX..........wanna chat with an army guy????

DUDE..!!! You should be a guarding our borders..!!! Not flirting around like this….GAWD..Orkut is a potential danger to the safety of the country…!!!

#hiiiiii add me please

When he faces rejection for a loooong time..The FRAANSHIP seeker resorts to begging…

#...YoU LuK SeXi In ThE Dp...I KnOw U WoNt RePlY To ThIs ScRaP BuT StIlL HaD To CoMpLiMeNt YoU ^_^...Tc

Slick try nah?? Working on the psyche to get a FRAANSHIP….!! He knows it won’t happen but still tries his luck...Relentless devotion to get FRAANSHIP….LMAO

#“hiiiii , i'm shajan. hmmmm, i think u r having some space in ur heart 4 a new frnd, being a shyful guy i'm asking can we be frnds????????”

A funny one..!!! this guy thinks he is a poet ..”Some space in heart” for a unknown online line profile which may in all possibilities be a rapist in a fake profile…gawd..LMAO……

The best part is he says he is a shy fella….but is still bold enough to send a FRAANSHIP request to a unknown girl…ROTFWL…

#hello........
who r u?

Clever jackass…..Scraps as if the girl has scrapped him first…builds up a conversation…and gets his FRAANSHIP eventually….

#Hi...i m not sure if the frst thing ppl wud notice bout u wun b ur glasses...i thin that subtle smile can take a person down hook,line and sinker.

but the frst thin i noticed bout ur profile is..its too simple .. may b the simple profile wud ward off potential frnds..but then...i think its attarctive in its own way.. chao!

BLAH BLAH BLAH……potential friends???!!! And what is CHAO???!!!

#hai i am joseph mario and this is my contact number if any one is intrested in joining my friends list can just send me sms or just a call i will be help full in all the ways ok

After years of FRAANSHIP requesting…..the SEEKERS get a bit arrogant of their success with gullible females and send out stuff like this..!! I was taken aback when I saw this scrap..GAWD…

#HEYY DEAR COOL AND VIEW MY PROFILE AND ADD ME IF U LIKE IT BUT BE FRANK

Errr…..what?? come again??? Do u speak E-N-G-L-I-S-H????

Well I guess you guys had fun reading the FRAANSHIP request…if you have seen any innovative requests do tell me about them.

I thank the girls in my friends list for providing me a new kind of entertainment and the content for this blog…

And to all the FRAANSHIP SEEKERS….continue guys…!!! ROCK ON…I LOVE YOU ALL….for the sheer entertainment you provide.

Ponder bout this while i take a trip to Kerala....

THE TIME MACHINE

"Why isn't my life like a situation comedy? Why don't I have a bunch of friends with nothing better to do but drop by and instigate wacky adventures? Why aren't my conversations peppered with spontaneous witticisms? Why don't my friends demonstrate heartfelt concern for my well being when I have problems? ...I gotta get my life some writers."

----Calvin & Hobbes

How true....how very very true....sometimes our lives become so monotonous that we tend to look for filling up the voids that are left in our lives towards movies and sitcoms.This is the reason why some people enjoy some movies and some simply rubbish them.(but this doesn't give the reason how one can enjoy a Vijay movie...anyone in their stable mind wouldn't do this mistake).

Anyways this is not about Vijay or his movies(it might bout them in the future blogs ;) )..but about one of the greatest comic strips(at least according to me) CALVIN AND HOBBES.Bill Watterson plays on one simple thing and got his comic to be a raging hit.He cashes in on the fact that there is always a kid in us...a small six year old always living in us even if we are sixty...

Reading through a strip every day kick starts it.Subtle humor,wit,digs at the society and most of all the pure innocence of Calvin.One can easily relate to the "TRANSMORGIFIER" ,"THE TIME MACHINE" etc..i have had my fantasies with such devices and i am not ashamed to tell that i still do.

I bet every single one of us would love to go back to that age of innocence when life is a lot more fun when you are not responsible for your actions.ahaaaaa wishing for "THE TIME MACHINE" right now. i have seriously pondered with this fantasy,thinking that if only i could go back to Einstein's time and pass of the "Theory of Relativity" as mine and be world famous..or just go back in time and become a Nostradamus sorts..predict all the WW,the famous assassination's,the next US president,the course of history and be etched in history forever.When i was 16 my dad told me that a ground(12 cents) in Mylapore cost only 1000 bucks....i again fantasized on my TIME MACHINE wishing i was back in 1950's investing in huge amounts in real estate and selling them off for millions in 2000 and living lazily for the rest of my life.... :D

5 whacky things i would do if i had "THE TIME MACHINE"

5) Eliminate Karunanidhi ,Jaya and Ramadoss---GOD..!! i have had enough of their bickering and fighting,politics and their god forsaken channels..the public would be free of SUN TV and JAYA TV and Ramadoss's metal ideas on social reforms.

4)Torture and Kill Radhika (the 'Chitti' bitch who started the Mega Serial trend in tamil nadu) so that i can watch TV peacefully without my folks nagging me to relinquish my favorite cartoons so that they can watch all the soaps.

3)Categorically eliminate all the BOYBANDS ,like Hitler's "FINAL SOLUTION" ,so that everyone can listen to PINK FLOYD..!! .I would inject them with a special kind of virus so that they would suffer a debilitating brain aneurysm...

2) Persuade Jennifer Aniston to continue with F.R.I.E.N.D.S ...dammit...i miss the show very much.

1)Prevent Silk Smitha from committing suicide...It was such a heart break for me. i did not know about the bees and birds when she was alive and when i knew she just wasn't around to share it with ,me :(


weird....... most of my wishes were to kill and eliminate... :D unworthy of the six year old in me... bah...who cares i was a violent six year old...and probably still..

what would be your whacky thing if you got the TIME MACHINE??? comment.

Ending with one of my favorite Calvin Quote..


I think life should be more like tv. I think all of life's problems ought to be solved in 30 minutes with simple homilies, don't you? I think weight and oral hygiene ought to be our biggest concerns. I think we should all have powerful, high-paying jobs, and everyone should drive fancy sports cars. All our desires should be instantly gratified. Women should always wear tight clothes, and men should carry powerful handguns. Life overall should be more glamorous, thrill-packed, and filled with applause, don't you think?

:D

Picture Of the Day

SAD BUT TRUE....What the heck...!! V are built that way..!!

Man's Greatest Invention...

What is man's greatest invention?? Some would say "the wheel" some would say " the computer"... As an average human being i would say it would be the CIGARETTE..It gives me absolute pleasure at a minimum investment and i can do it alone,that is the best part about cigarettes....they are the best when you are alone.Enjoying one's solace with a pack is the best.

Early days people used to chew tobacco..what made man roll it up in a paper and put a cotton filter in one end and smoke it?? That is what i call as " the moment of brilliance".I do not know who came up with such a idea...But dude...hats off...great work..

People always bullshit about the ill effects of smoking....but hey...I'd rather smoke my way out rather than somebody else do it for me...

Coming to the picture....a comic strip i found on the net..forgot the name..but makes awesome fuckin sense.There are a whole bunch of weird smokers I've come across.


TYPES OF WEIRD SMOKERS


1. "my lips might burn if i hold it for too long " :: These people are basically fakers,pussies,..they smoke...tch tch..I'd rather say they HOLD a cigarette just to look "cool" and are fundamentally retarded.The cigarette is never smoked,sadly...they are burnt...

2. "Suckers" :: These people are the worst,they have a weird affinity to the filter in the cigarette and their tongues are all over the filter making it soggy with their saliva.They never have to stub their cigarettes,by the time the fire comes to the filter it is naturally extinguished by the dripping saliva.

STATUTORY WARNING::: Never take a Drag from a "Sucker".You might as well go without it.

3. "I eat Smoke" :: Another typical example of a wannabe...These people are slightly different from TYPE 1...they take a quite a long drag that u will be surprised by their lung power.....after the drag,You can actually see them swallow it..!! and bring some of the smoke out...Using their stomach to smoke..!!.these set of people will be the first cases in the word to die of stomach cancer due to smoking.No clue what they get from that...Prolly they are friggin hungry to do that...but....my question is why waste a cigarette if you are hungry..??


4. "Uhhuh....Where did it go?? " :: The funniest of them all..My favorite time pass is to look out for guys like this and spend my time seeing their antics....See...i have never been able to figure out how these guys do it...they light up a cigarette....take a drag...or atleast i think they take a drag...and den blow out AIR..!!! No smoke...nothing...jus air..and they will seem pretty happy about t....having a face that will almost reflect that they enjoy doing this stupid stunt...




If you know any other types..pls do lemme know...i ve to find out why they do it.?? One can find out "Why the chicken crossed the road" but this will remain a unsolvable mystery.....


and for all those non-smokers...

read in tamil....

" agni enbathu gyanathin adayalam....buthi saali than pugai vida mudiyum "

----- a dialog from Katrathu Tamil (Tamil M.A)

rough translation::: fire is the identity of wisdom...so only a wise man can smoke...

Rules of Combat:

i found this in the internet.


Rules Of Combat.... pretty cool...read on..


If the enemy is in range, so are you.

Incoming fire has the right of way.

Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.

There is always a way.

The easy way is always mined.

Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.

Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.

The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions, when you're ready for them, and when you're not ready for them.

Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at.

If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed at you.

The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.

A "sucking chest wound" is natures way of telling you to slow down.

If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.

Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.

Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.

Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won't be able to get out.

Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.

If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in a combat zone.

When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.

Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.

The Triumph of Bullshit....

u see...currently i am so bored that i have decided to do somethin that is useful and gives me a chance to kill time .....so i ve started with this bullshit..ahhhh...the second most used word after de F word...wanna kno de orgin...t was coined up by on of the most famous poets in our era...T.S Elliot...

and this is the poem which started t all...


Ladies, on whom my attentions have waited
If you consider my merits are small
Etiolated, alembicated,
Orotund, tasteless, fantastical,
Monotonous, crotchety, constipated,
Impotent galamatias
Affected, possibly imitated,
For Christ's sake stick it up your ass

Ladies, who find my intentions ridiculous
Awkward insipid and horribly gauche
Pompous, pretentious, ineptly meticulous
Dull as the heart of an unbaked brioche
Floundering versicles feebly versiculous
Often attenuate, frequently crass
Attempts at emotions that turn isiculous,
For Christ's sake stick it up your ass.

Ladies who think me unduly vociferous
Amiable cabotin making a noise
That people may cry out "this stuff is too stiff for us" -
Ingenuous child with a box of new toys
Toy lions carnivorous, cannons fumiferous
Engines vaporous - all this will pass;
Quite innocent - "he only wants to make shiver us."
For Christ's sake stick it up your ass.

And when thyself with silver foot shalt pass
Among the Theories scattered on the grass
Take up my good intentions with the rest
And then for Christ's sake stick them up your ass.

cool right....i wonder how t will sound if Cobain tunes to these lyrics... :D

well thats bout t fer de first post.....u got to kno a lotta bullshit....useful right????